Esan cultural norms frown at a child that predeceased her own parents. It is often refer to as "egbakhuan"
The culture is dialectic; it imposes duty on both parents and offspring. While parents owe a sacred duty to nurture children to adulthood, it is the corresponding obligation of adult children to stay alive to celebrate their parents and conduct them through the lonely path home. That was the hint inherent in the wish of every mother to be celebrated at death, as was her grandmother's.
Esan culture has in-built flexibilities. Like every culture, Esan's culture is dynamic and admits refinement. The full panoply of requirements for burial rites are not unknown except to an alien child. For the purpose of the yet born and unborn offspring of an Esan woman, the culture requires the eldest male child, accompanied by his siblings to lead his mother home, celebrate her life and do her deserved honor. There is no exception, no waiver and no compromises expected or allowed. Instead, it is understood that a child who cannot do honor to his mother is worthless; he enjoys scant regards among his mates. civilization permits deserved cultural honor towards parents.
The flexible freedom imbued in Esan culture and which admits of extenuating factors is truly reflective of the human condition. Thus, if the right things are done, an Esan woman could rest in a convenient place, whether in his first son's house or anywhere else in the world. The persuasive argument for her interment in such an otherwise foreign land, is founded on a valid request to that end; a consideration sought and obtained by the rightful person - the first male child of the deceased Esan woman.
He may be accompanied by his age mates together with some uncles who may also be advised by coevals of the deceased. An older person to the deceased woman has no place in the delegation. An appeal to the deceased mother's people that he be granted the dispensation or permission for the remains of his mother to rest in a convenient place. It is a rare request, an exception but culturally assured that it is never refused. With due process, the mother's family would concede a few things. To refused or prevent the family this honor of consenting to the interment place amounts to disrespect and traditionally suicidal which has adverse consequences. They would certify that the convenient place is ideal. They would inquire if the convenient place is the first son's own house or not. They would not grant permission for her burial in his husband's house where his first son is not apparent heir or in the bush or dustbin.
It is worthy to note that in Esan culture, a husband does not discuss the burial rites of his late wife. It is strictly between the first male child and those younger than the deceased. Elders do not partake in all the talks about burials and do not plan the attendant cultural ceremonies.
